I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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