Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
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