you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
