I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
