it wasn't lemon gatorade
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Randomize
