i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
You can't special order awesome
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
