PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Randomize
