Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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