Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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