I am in a vortex of obligation.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
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