Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
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