I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I smell stomach acid.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Randomize
