So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Randomize