Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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