you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
