OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
