I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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