i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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