I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
this must be what syphilis tastes like
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
