i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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