Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
