i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
