well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
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Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
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