For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize