did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
