I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
