going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Pants are for mortals
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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