oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
