We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize
