Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize
