sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
