If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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