this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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