So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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