Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Randomize
