She went from zero to smokin in five shots
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
