Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
