I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Randomize