so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
