I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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