Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
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