dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
