best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
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