Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
