Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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