whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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