You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
