I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
