He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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