She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Everyone says I win the strip club
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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