maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
this beer tastes like vomit already
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
We just shotgunned beers for America
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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