You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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