do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
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