oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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