Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
