When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
