very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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