You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
