Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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