im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Randomize
