i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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