Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
