My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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