They should really pass out barf bags in church
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
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