I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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