ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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