I feel like I'm in dance class right now
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
