Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
