just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I lost the right to judge tonight
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
